I may be all smiles and laughter.
I may be all lip-gloss and perfume.
I may make living in a shed look like the easiest thing in the world.
But I tell you what: it ain’t!
There was one time when I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard scurrying. I could hear scurrying underneath the bed. I pressed my ear into my pillow and it seemed I could hear scurrying all around me. And then the scurrying took a back seat as it dawned on me that the small rodent I’d been listening to was tangled in my hair. Disgusting! It was so traumatic, Ben had to console me back into bed.
On another occasion, I woke up during the night, having felt what seemed like the furry legs of a spider on my back. I got up and went to the bathroom, turned on the light and checked the bed for a spider. Nothing. I went to get a glass of water and came back. There it was, a huntsman, on the mosquito net draped around my bed, above my pillow staring at me. What did I do? Wake up Ben of course.
And now, my ankles and feet look like I’ve just had a nasty case of the chicken pox. At first I thought the mozzies just loved me. Later on, after Ben pointed out a flea that it occurred to me that my mozzie bites were actually flea bites. Flea bites! I’d never had flea bites in my life and I’d never seen a flea with my naked eye before. I eyed the family dog, Sheeba, aware of the fact that she was now my enemy. How dare she come into the shed, finding shelter on a rainy day and curl up near the carpet! How dare she!
But that’s not all. When I woke up this morning, guess what Ben found. Yup, fleas. Not one, or two, but five of them. In the bed. Oh My God! Those sheets came off quicker than the Road Runner himself.
Remember when you went to school and there were some kids who had nits? And you knew who they were because they disappeared for a day or two. And you thanked your lucky stars you weren’t one of those kids. Well guess what? I’m one of those kids.
This infestation in the shed of all things disgusting is wreaking havoc on my perfect sustainability bubble. I’m trying not to reach over to the Mortein because I don’t want to die a slow toxic death, but I can’t help it.
Anyone have a better solution to a flea bomb? Quick, before I scratch myself to death…!